[edit] Season 6: 1999–2000
# Total Title Director Writer Original airdate
1 122 “The One After Vegas” Kevin S. Bright Adam Chase September 23,
1999
Ross and Rachel deal with the aftermath of their drunken escapade.
Phoebe and Joey take a road trip. Monica and Chandler ponder the idea of
marriage.
2 123 “The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel” Gail Mancuso Shana
Goldberg-Meehan September 30, 1999
Monica and Chandler tell Rachel (who doesn’t know she’s still married to
Ross) that they’re moving in together. This makes her happy because she
believes the three of them will be living together, but is eventually
saddened when Monica tells her otherwise. Phoebe thinks Ross still loves
Rachel especially when he hugs Rachel in an attempt to comfort her and
because he smells her hair.
3 124 “The One with Ross’s Denial” Gary Halvorson Seth Kurland October
7, 1999
Ross tries to deny he still has feelings for Rachel and invites her to
move in with him. Monica and Chandler fight over what to do with their
spare bedroom.
4 125 “The One Where Joey Loses His Insurance” Gary Halvorson Andrew
Reich & Ted Cohen October 14, 1999
Joey’s health benefits lapse just as he develops a hernia. Ross decide
to use a fake accent when he starts lecturing at NYU. Rachel finds out
she and Ross are still married.
5 126 “The One with Joey’s Porsche” Gary Halvorson Perry M. Rein & Gigi
McCreery October 21, 1999
While trying to get an annulment, Rachel reveals it was her idea to get
married. Joey pretends to be the owner of a Porsche whose owner left its
keys at Central Perk. Phoebe baby-sits the triplets and ropes in Monica
and Chandler, who swallows a toy gun and has to be taken to the hospital
leaving Phoebe alone.
6 127 “The One on the Last Night” David Schwimmer Scott Silveri November
4, 1999
Chandler tries to give Joey money and Phoebe starts an argument between
Monica and Rachel on the last night before Chandler moves in with
Monica.
7 128 “The One Where Phoebe Runs” Gary Halvorson Sherry Bilsing & Ellen
Plummer November 11, 1999
Rachel is embarrassed by Phoebe’s odd running style. Joey takes in a new
roommate: dancer Janine.
8 129 “The One with Ross’s Teeth” Gary Halvorson Perry M. Rein & Gigi
McCreery November 18, 1999
Ross goes too far while trying to impress a date by over whitening his
teeth. Phoebe may or may not have made out with Ralph Lauren which gets
Rachel into trouble with her boss.
9 130 “The One Where Ross Got High” Kevin S. Bright Gregory S. Malins
November 25, 1999
Ross is forced to tell Chandler why Jack and Judy don’t like him. It
turns out that in college, Ross experimented with ‘pot’, and blamed the
smell of the drugs on Chandler, who had supposedly jumped out of the
window because he was ‘stoned’. Rachel tries to make dessert, but
because the recipe book’s pages were glued together, she makes only half
of the dessert, the other half being a Shepherd’s Pie. Phoebe develops a
crush on Jack Geller after a sensual dream. Joey and Ross try to get out
of Thanksgiving when they are invited to hang out with Janine and her
dancer friends.
10 131 “The One with the Routine” Kevin S. Bright Brian Boyle December
16, 1999
Janine gets a job dancing for Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve and
invites Joey, Ross and Monica to come with her. Meanwhile, Phoebe,
Chandler and Rachel look for Monica’s Christmas presents so that they
could buy her something suitable in return.
11 132 “The One with the Apothecary Table” Kevin S. Bright Brian Boyle
January 6, 2000
Janine forces Joey to choose between her and his friends. Meanwhile,
Rachel buys an apothecary table from Pottery Barn, a store that Phoebe
hates, and pretends she got it at a flea market. Her plan is then thrown
into jeopardy when Phoebe sees the same table at Ross’s apartment.
12 133 “The One with the Joke” Gary Halvorson Andrew Reich & Ted Cohen
January 13, 2000
Chandler is upset when Playboy prints Ross’s joke and so both he and
Ross claim to have originated the joke. Meanwhile, Joey reluctantly
takes a waiter job at Central Perk.
13 134 “The One with Rachel’s Sister” Gary Halvorson Story: Seth
Kurland
Teleplay: Sherry Bilsing & Ellen Plummer February 3, 2000
Joey gives all the pretty female customers free stuff at the coffee
house. Monica is sick and won’t admit it. Rachel’s sister Jill (Reese
Witherspoon) shows up because she’s been financially cut off and has to
try to make it on her own.
14 135 “The One Where Chandler Can’t Cry” Kevin S. Bright Andrew Reich &
Ted Cohen February 10, 2000
Chandler admits that not much makes him cry.Larry Joe Campbell makes an
appearance as Phoebe’s fan asking for her autograph and later tells joey
that he has watched all of her porn movies. Phoebe discovers that Ursula
has been in pornographic movies under Phoebe’s name, but Phoebe gets her
own back by having all Ursula’s paychecks sent to her address.
15 136 “The One that Could Have Been, Part 1” Michael Lembeck Gregory S.
Malins & Adam Chase February 17, 2000
The gang ponders what might have been if Ross and Carol stayed married,
Monica had still been fat, Chandler was a struggling writer, Joey still
worked on Days of our Lives, Rachel had married Barry and Phoebe had
become a stockbroker.
16 137 “The One that Could Have Been, Part 2” Michael Lembeck David
Crane & Marta Kauffman February 17, 2000
A continuation of the alternate reality, including Rachel almost having
an affair with Joey, Ross realizes Carol is a lesbian, Phoebe gets fired
from her job, and Chandler and Monica deciding to sleep together.
17 138 “The One with Unagi” Gary Halvorson Story: Zachary Rosenblatt,
Teleplay: Adam Chase February 24, 2000
Ross tries to teach Rachel and Phoebe martial arts, and to convince them
that they do not have ‘Unagi’; a state of total awareness. Chandler and
Monica forget to make each other home-made Valentine’s Day gifts – but
don’t tell each other.
18 139 “The One Where Ross Dates a Student” Gary Halvorson Seth Kurland
March 9, 2000
宝马娱乐下载,Ross starts dating a student from one of his paleontology classes.
Rachel and Phoebe’s apartment catches fire causing them to fight over
who gets to live in Monica’s apartment and who gets to live in Joey’s.
19 140 “The One with Joey’s Fridge” Ben Weiss Story: Seth Kurland
Teleplay: Gigi McCreery & Perry M. Rein March 23, 2000
Joey’s refrigerator breaks, but he can’t afford a new one. Ross’s
student girlfriend goes on Spring Break.
20 141 “The One with Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.” Kevin S. Bright Doty Abrams
April 13, 2000
Joey auditions for the lead in a TV show and Chandler almost rules him
out of the part.
21 142 “The One Where Ross Meets Elizabeth’s Dad” Michael Lembeck Story:
David J. Lagana, Teleplay: Scott Silveri April 27, 2000
Ross is nervous when he meets Elizabeth’s father Paul (Bruce Willis) for
the first time; Paul shows interest in Rachel. Joey gets off on the
wrong foot with the operator of his robotic co-star. Phoebe writes a
book based on Monica and Chandler.
22 143 “The One Where Paul’s the Man” Gary Halvorson Story: Brian
Caldirola, Teleplay: Sherry Bilsing & Ellen Plummer May 4, 2000
Ross and Elizabeth sneak away to her family’s cabin – not knowing Paul
and Rachel have the same idea. The girls put their names down on a
wedding list which gets back to Chandler Chandler reveals he has big
plans for Monica.
23 144 “The One with the Ring” Gary Halvorson Ted Cohen & Andrew Reich
May 11, 2000
Phoebe helps Chandler pick out an engagement ring for Monica. Paul
cannot stop crying after Rachel has him open up. Joey and Ross decide to
close Chandler out.
24 145 “The One with the Proposal, Part 1” Kevin S. Bright Scott Silveri
& Shana Goldberg-Meehan May 18, 2000
Chandler’s plans to propose are thrown off when they run into Richard.
Joey accidentally buys a sailboat in an auction.
25 146 “The One with the Proposal, Part 2” Kevin S. Bright Andrew Reich
& Ted Cohen May 18, 2000
Richard reveals he’s still in love with Monica. Rachel and Phoebe
arrange “backups”. Chandler and Monica get engaged.

中國人說“食在廣州”,這話不差。在這裡,你可以一天二十四小時不停地吃。尤其是晚上,別的城市都已經進入夢鄉,廣州還是一個不夜城。眾多徹夜開放的大排檔,將黑夜照得如同白晝。人聲鼎沸,這個城市天天都在唱《今夜無人入睡》。
我好吃,來廣州后也慕名去過幾家人氣很旺的夜場,卻終究還是厭倦環境的嘈雜。畢竟是各路名家的談吃散文才將我引入饕餮行列,看慣了伴著書香的柴米油鹽,忽然有一天吵吵鬧鬧打翻了油罐弄髒了書頁,總是心有不甘的。可我又習慣了深夜與食物相伴,一陣紙上談兵之後,我在朋友的推薦下點開了《深夜食堂》。
影片伊始是東京繁華的夜市,恰如廣州的夜景,十裡洋場燈火通明。一轉眼,鏡頭切到一條幽深的小巷,和一個只在夜間營業的餐廳。店面很小,店主、廚師、收銀都由一人兼任。菜譜更為簡陋,老闆更喜歡即興發揮。每一集只介紹一種菜,同時也只配上一個故事。菜的做法很容易,幾樣簡單的食材拌上樸素的調料;故事情節也很簡單,不外乎一些家長里短的瑣碎。
那年我在關於東南亞二戰的畢業論文里援引了許多日本史家的研究成果。導師看完,給我寫了這樣一段話:“看到你引用了日本人的材料,我一直很欽佩日人在小學和考據上下的功夫。從《大漢和詞典》到古史研究,再到近現代史,都有可圈可點的地方”。
小學和考據,最重細緻。日人擅於此,證明其心思細膩。《深夜食堂》即是一例。店面和菜譜雖然不太起眼,但正如店主所說,只要你想吃什麽,我就能給你做出來。每次看到片中人物捧著那一點點食物,總擔心他們一下把持不住,會來上一通狼吞虎嚥嚼爛店主那一份細緻。我的顧慮是多餘的,每一位食客都像朝聖一般,小心翼翼把食物放進口中咀嚼,生怕攪擾了盤中那一場清夢。
喜愛日本文化的導師還說“讀《源氏物語》覺得字字關情,不是男女之情,而是看到唐文化在異域再生的深深感動。雖淒美而有氣度,自成一家。真希望日本沒有動念發起那場妄圖滅絕中國的戰爭。害人害己,兩敗俱傷,終與大器無緣。”長期以來我們總是迷失在歷史災難的單行道里,忘記往別處看一下其實條條大路通羅馬。《深夜食堂》正是內斂、柔和、細緻的中華文化在異域的延續,從徐福、鑒真一路流傳至今。固然其間也有意外—每一集都會出現糾結與繁雜,可每每到最後也會隨著老闆的精妙手藝化為無形。好比日本曆史上那一次嚴重的出軌,差點斷送民族的前途,但日本人還是頑強地站了起來。歲月是一條長河,總得迎來幾番洪峰。
幾乎每一個人物都有自己專屬的一道菜,正如日人細緻,也難免陷入妄執,甚至會精心琢磨殺人與自殺之術。本尼-迪克特“菊與刀”的比喻,恰如其分地展現了日本文化的兩面性。所幸深夜食堂每集只有二十多分鐘,沒有延長營業時間,沒有擴大店面,更沒有開大排檔搏一個“食在東京小巷”的名頭。猶記得當年日本人正是栽在“大日本帝國”和“大東亞共榮圈”的虛幻里不能自拔。從這個意義上來說,我寧願他們與大器無緣。

 原来一直觉得看喜剧看出泪来很矫情。看悲剧或正剧看得哈哈大笑倒是不少,原因无外乎两个字:蹩脚。但蹩脚的喜剧只能让人怒,是无论如何也不值得流泪的。
    第一次不觉得看喜剧看出泪来是矫情是听朋友讲他一个兄弟看《大话西游》。那兄弟失恋了,大家请他看《大话西游》。那时的周星驰还没戴上紧箍,没成为“那个什么什么主义的大师”,人们还是很纯洁地去看他一部纯洁的喜剧。效果一直都很好,大家感觉快要得逞,准备互鸣得意了,谁知此时银幕上的至尊宝戴上了紧箍,嬉皮笑脸却也足够庄严地拒绝了紫霞。兄弟顿时哭了出来,朋友们的努力即告失败。如果现在谁看《大话西游》时流泪我一定不觉得奇怪,要知道谁还能痛痛快快地笑着看下来倒成了怪事。
听说这事以后,我就不再轻易觉得谁矫情了。最近,这事还发生在了我身上。这事,是指看喜剧看出泪来,不是其它。
去年底有两个月的时间在外地培训,怕老婆在家无聊,推荐她去买据说在美国很热的一部连续剧看,那店里卖断了货,于是买了据说同样很热而且更好玩的《朋友》。这剧果然好看,后来好几次给老婆打电话时她会因为急着要看而催我“有什么事儿快说”。我倒也不吃醋,一是自己出的主意,自找的,让老婆解闷的目的达到了就很满足了;二是对老婆的鉴赏水平多少不那么感冒,觉得不过是小孩子喜欢的东西。
回来后经不住老婆的一再游说,为了哄夫人高兴才坐下来看。开始还是陪着老婆从中间往后看,没两集弄明白了人物关系,就“中毒”了。甚至有一次,因为第二天要四点半起来,怕睡过头,干脆看了个通宵。自己都想不起来上一次看通宵是什么时候了,应该还是在大学里吧。好几次笑得前仰后合的时候会被老婆嘲笑:“还不相信我说的话,看你笑的那个傻样”,也顾不得那么多了。
那段时间在家里总有没完没了的笑声,可奇怪的是在外面却不知不觉学会了耿耿于怀的本事。旁人的一点儿不合我意就能让我郁闷很久。也知道不是多么大点儿事,真发作了更显得自己小器,不发作又憋闷得紧。于是就开始自虐,用更加苛刻的标准要求自己:对人真诚,100%的真诚;掐断“小聪明”这根神经,虽然一直不够发达;不允许自己有哪怕一点点的不对。这样的结果自然是让自己更加对自己不满,于是变本加厉地自虐……
自己意识到问题的时候,就会想找出原因。原因也不难找,就是对自己的道德要求太高,怨不得别人。可想不明白的是怎么学会的这坏毛病。直到有一天再看到那部叫做《朋友》的连续剧,忽然想明白了:就是让他们害的!
他们都不完美,可他们诚实,天真,善良,至少他们是这么追求的。他们也会说谎,可是很笨拙,而且往往不等人看穿自己已憋不住招了;他们也会小器,但小器得那么坦荡;也会有事情让他们生气,可要让他们说出一句恶语,却象要了他们自己的命。有时我会因为太喜欢而紧张:难道美国人真的是这样的吗?他们和我们真的有那么大的差距吗?不会的,这应该也属于教化的范围,正因为他们美国人做不到才会编成戏来“引导”人们吧?这么给自己解释才能稍稍安心一点。这一点点为自己和同胞的担忧转瞬即逝,该怎么喜欢还是怎么喜欢,无可救药。
每天晚上在家里陪着他们“生活”,从他们身上慢慢地找回自己曾经有过种种做人处事的准则。原来那些被一再的打击和挫折证明行不通的准则在戏里是行得通的,所以我不孤单,应该坚持。于是,自虐就这么开始了。
那晚看着这部喜剧忽然想清楚了自虐的原因,一时间,我忽然很想哭。

[edit] Season 5: 1998–1999
# Total Title Director Writer Original airdate
1 98 “The One After Ross Says Rachel” Kevin S. Bright Seth Kurland
September 24, 1998
After having said the wrong name at the altar, Ross tries to patch up
things with Emily. Monica and Chandler lay ground rules for their new
relationship.
2 99 “The One with All the Kissing” Gary Halvorson Wil Calhoun October
1, 1998
Monica and Chandler try to hide their relationship but kiss in front of
the others, accidentally. Chandler then kisses Rachel and Phoebe, which
Monica then explains as his ‘European thing.’ Monica is put in charge of
Rachel’s love life because Rachel believes that she makes bad decisions,
and Phoebe’s water breaks and is upset that her bond with the triplets
is coming to an end but glad she no longer has to do “pregnant
stuff.”rachel tells ross she is still in love with him.
3 100 “The One Hundredth (The One with the Triplets)” Kevin S. Bright
Marta Kauffman & David Crane October 8, 1998
Phoebe gives birth to her brother’s triplets. Joey gets sick at the
hospital, with kidney stones. Chandler tells Monica that he is just
goofing around in their relationship and Monica threatens to date one of
Phoebe’s male nurses, but they kiss and make it up at the end.
4 101 “The One Where Phoebe Hates PBS” Shelley Jenson Michael Curtis
October 15, 1998
Joey gets a job at a PBS telethon which prompts Phoebe to reveal that
she hates PBS. He tells her that there is no thing like a selfless good
deed and she tries to find one to prove him wrong. Emily agrees to come
to New York – if Ross promises to stop being friends with Rachel.
Chandler and Monica continue to hide their relationship.
5 102 “The One with the Kips” Dana DeValley Piazza Scott Silveri October
29, 1998
Chandler and Monica go away for the weekend but spend the entire time
fighting. Ross tells Rachel about his agreement with Emily, and he and
Rachel get into a fight. Joey finds out about Monica and Chandler’s
relationship after Monica tells Rachel that she’s lost her eyelash
curler, which was left in the hotel room.
6 103 “The One with the Yeti” Gary Halvorson Alexa Junge November 5,
1998
Emily’s demands become more and more unreasonable, so Ross tells her
she’s got to trust him or their marriage won’t work. Emily then tells
him she can’t trust him, and she and Ross decide to divorce. Monica and
Rachel meet a very hairy guy, who they mistake for a yeti. He then turns
out to be their new neighbor, Danny.
7 104 “The One Where Ross Moves In” Gary Halvorson Gigi McCreery & Perry
M. Rein November 12, 1998
Ross moves in with Chandler and Joey after Emily’s cousin kicks him out
but he constantly annoys the guys. Phoebe dates a health inspector who
keeps shutting down her favorite restaurants. Rachel and Monica are
invited to their new neighbor Danny’s party but Rachel is reluctant to
go.
8 105 “The One with All the Thanksgivings” Kevin S. Bright Gregory S.
Malins November 19, 1998
It’s Thanksgiving, and everybody has flashbacks of their worst
thanksgiving. Phoebe recalls her Thanksgiving in 1862, which happened in
one of her “past lives”. Rachel reveals Monica’s worst Thanksgiving, at
which Monica accidentally cut off Chandler’s little toe.
9 106 “The One with Ross’s Sandwich” Gary Halvorson Ted Cohen & Andrew
Reich December 10, 1998
Ross loses his temper – and possibly his job – after someone eats his
sandwich. Joey gets tired of hiding Monica and Chandler’s secret after
Chandler’s underpants are found in the girls’ apartment and Joey has to
cover for him. Phoebe attends literature classes which she wants to
learn seriously but Rachel, who accompanies her takes it as fun. Later
Monica takes the class with Phoebe and incidentally turns it into a very
competitive class much to everyone’s annoyance.
10 107 “The One with the Inappropriate Sister” Dana DeValley Piazza
Shana Goldberg-Meehan December 17, 1998
Phoebe volunteers to help collect money for the poor during Christmas
time. Ross helps Joey write a screenplay. Rachel starts dating Danny,
but is put off by his very close relationship with his sister.
11 108 “The One with All the Resolutions” Joe Regalbuto Story: Brian
Boyle, Teleplay: Suzie Villandry January 7, 1999
The gang makes New Year’s resolutions: Chandler cannot make fun of his
friends, Rachel will gossip less, Ross will do something new daily, Joey
will learn to play the guitar, Phoebe will pilot a commercial jet and
Monica resolves to take more pictures of all the friends together.
Rachel finds out about Monica and Chandler but can’t tell anyone because
of her resolution. Ross has trouble with his new leather pants while
Phoebe teaches Joey how to play the guitar.
12 109 “The One with Chandler’s Work Laugh” Kevin S. Bright Alicia Sky
Varinaitis January 21, 1999
Monica finds out that Chandler kisses up to his boss at work, but behind
her back, Rachel is trying to find out about her relationship. Ross
learns Emily is engaged again, and has a one-night stand with someone
the group is all too familiar with.
13 110 “The One with Joey’s Bag” Gail Mancuso Story: Michael Curtis,
Teleplay: Seth Kurland February 4, 1999
Phoebe’s grandmother dies, and she meets someone she’s been looking for
since childhood. Rachel convinces Joey to start carrying a “man’s bag”
to help him get a part in a movie.
14 111 “The One Where Everybody Finds Out” Michael Lembeck Alexa Junge
February 11, 1999
Phoebe finds out about Monica and Chandler, so she and Rachel play
practical jokes on them. Monica and Chandler realize something’s up so
they play along. Ugly Naked Guy sublets his apartment and is greeted
with a number of applicants – including Ross. Chandler and Monica admit
that they love each other.
15 112 “The One with the Girl Who Hits Joey” Kevin S. Bright Adam Chase
February 18, 1999
Joey dates a girl who likes to punch him (Soleil Moon Frye). Ross gets
off on the wrong foot with his new neighbors. Chandler and Monica have
problems with their relationship after everyone jokes around about
marriage.
16 113 “The One with the Cop” Andrew Tsao Story: Alicia Sky Varinaitis
Teleplay: Gigi McCreery & Perry M. Rein February 25, 1999
Phoebe finds a police badge at the coffeehouse and has fun pretending
she’s a cop – until she pulls it on the owner, a cop named Gary, who
later successfully asks her out for dinner. Ross buys a new couch, but
he and Rachel struggle to lift it up to his apartment. Joey feels like
he needs to have a relationship similar to Monica and Chandler’s.
17 114 “The One with Rachel’s Inadvertent Kiss” Shelley Jenson Andrew
Reich & Ted Cohen March 18, 1999
Rachel interviews with Ralph Lauren and accidentally kisses her
interviewer. Monica wants to prove that she and Chandler are a hotter
couple than Phoebe and her new boyfriend. Joey flirts with a girl across
the street–in Ross’ building, but he can’t seem to find her.
18 115 “The One Where Rachel Smokes” Todd Holand Michael Curtis April 8,
1999
Rachel tries to take up smoking so she’ll feel more included at work
with her boss and co-worker. Ben and Joey audition for a soup commercial
against each other. Monica and Phoebe throw a party, and Phoebe gets
upset about Monica taking charge, when they agree to work together, and
steals the spotlight.
19 116 “The One Where Ross Can’t Flirt” Gail Mancuso Doty Abrams April
22, 1999
Ross has trouble flirting with the pizza delivery girl. Joey invites his
grandmother over to watch his role on Law and Order – but his part’s
been cut. Monica asks Phoebe for a pair of earrings that she lent her
but Phoebe has lent them to Rachel who loses one.
20 117 “The One with the Ride-Along” Gary Halvorson Shana
Goldberg-Meehan & Seth Kurland April 29, 1999
Ross, Joey and Chandler go on a ride-along with Phoebe’s cop boyfriend
Gary, but in an attempt to save his sandwich from a car backfire, Joey
ends up saving Ross as well. Chandler thinks that Joey cares more about
Ross than him — until he finds out Joey was trying to save his
sandwich. Meanwhile, while stealing margarita ingredients from Ross’
apartment, Rachel intercepts a message from Emily, but accidentally
deletes it soon after.
21 118 “The One with the Ball” Gary Halvorson Story: Scott Silveri,
Teleplay: Gregory S. Malins May 6, 1999
Phoebe and Gary move in together – then break up after he shoots a bird.
Rachel buys a hairless Sphinx cat, which disturbs her. Ross and Joey
pass time by tossing a ball back and forth, and subsequently miss lunch,
a thing Joey has never done before. Their game is disrupted, however,
when Monica feels the need to include herself. Chandler is called a
‘Dropper’.
22 119 “The One with Joey’s Big Break” Gary Halvorson Story: Shana
Goldberg-Meehan
Teleplay: Wil Calhoun May 13, 1999
Joey gets the lead in a movie; Chandler doesn’t think it’s his big
break. Phoebe is mad at Ross, but can’t remember why. Rachel has to see
the eye doctor but doesn’t want to.
23 120 “The One in Vegas, Part One” Kevin S. Bright Ted Cohen & Andrew
Reich May 20, 1999
Monica has lunch with Richard but doesn’t want to tell Chandler. She and
Chandler go to Las Vegas for their anniversary, but Phoebe tags along to
make up for missing out on London. They find out that Joey is working as
a gladiator while the recording for his movie has been postponed. Rachel
takes Phoebe’s advice and wanders around in her apartment naked, which
Ross mistakes as an invitation to “the physical act of love.” To get
back at Rachel for making fun of him, he attempts to embarrass her on
the flight to Las Vegas; mishap ensues.
24 121 “The One in Vegas, Part Two” Kevin S. Bright Gregory S. Malins &
Scott Silveri May 20, 1999
When Ross and Rachel arrive in Vegas, they get drunk on alcohol. Joey
discovers his “identical hand twin”. Phoebe feuds with a slots “lurker”
and gets thrown out of the casino, though she returns, posing as “Regina
Phalange”. Chandler and Monica contemplate marriage, and almost go
through with it – until they see Ross and Rachel drunkenly stumbling out
of the chapel!

[edit] Season 1: 1994–1995
# Total Title Director Writer Original airdate
1 1 “The Pilot (The One Where Monica Gets a Roommate)” James Burrows
David Crane & Marta Kauffman September 22, 1994
Monica and the gang introduce Rachel to the “real world” by helping her
after she leaves her fiancé at the altar. Ross adapts to single life and
asks Chandler and Joey to help fix up his new apartment. Ross and Rachel
have a “moment”.
2 2 “The One with the Sonogram at the End” James Burrows David Crane &
Marta Kauffman September 29, 1994
Ross finds out his estranged lesbian wife Carol and her girlfriend Susan
are going to have his baby.
3 3 “The One with the Thumb” James Burrows Jeff Astrof & Nanthida
Ottesen October 6, 1994
Phoebe discovers a human thumb floating in her can of soda and gets a
compensation of seven thousand dollars, which goes against all of her
beliefs, Chandler starts to smoke and Monica dates a guy who all the
friends like, but she doesn’t.
4 4 “The One with George Stephanopoulos” James Burrows Alexa Junge
October 13, 1994
The girls spy on the sexy politician across the street (George
Stephanopoulos), while the boys convince Ross to go to a hockey game on
his and Carol’s anniversary which leads to Ross breaking his nose and
wearing unattractive headgear.
5 5 “The One with the East German Laundry Detergent” Pamela Fryman Jeff
Greenstein and Svend Ottesen October 20, 1994
Ross and Rachel wash their dirty laundry in public, where Rachel gets
into a fight with a woman and Ross gets his first kiss with Rachel. Joey
wants to go out with a woman who has a boyfriend, so he sets up a double
date, consisting of the woman, her boyfriend, Monica, and himself. He
leads Monica to believe that the woman’s boyfriend is Monica’s date and
the woman’s brother, and that Joey’s date is the woman. This creates
much confusion when Monica sees the woman and her “brother” being
“inappropriate”. Chandler breaks up with Janice for the first time.
6 6 “The One with the Butt” Arlene Sanford Adam Chase & Ira Ungerleider
October 27, 1994
Joey finally gets a film role as a stand-in for Al Pacino’s butt which
he never actually does because he “Acted too much”. Chandler starts a
polyamorous relationship with an Italian woman.
7 7 “The One with the Blackout” James Burrows Jeff Astrof & Panida
Ottesen November 3, 1994
During a city-wide power outage, Rachel falls for the owner of a lost
kitten, a dark, attractive Italian guy called Paolo, which occurs at the
same time as Ross wanting to profess his love for Rachel. Meanwhile,
Chandler is trapped in an automated-teller vestibule with Jill Goodacre
and he desperately tries to impress her.
8 8 “The One Where Nana Dies Twice” James Burrows Marta Kauffman & David
Crane November 10, 1994
Ross and Monica go to the bedside of their dead grandmother, who
momentarily returns to life. Meanwhile, one of Chandler’s colleagues
tries to fix him up on a date with a man after she thinks he’s gay, this
leads Chandler to find out that all the gang thought he was gay when
they first met him.
9 9 “The One Where Underdog Gets Away” James Burrows Jeff Greenstein &
Allan Ottesen November 17, 1994
Monica plans a lovely, quiet Thanksgiving feast for the gang in her
apartment but her plans go awry. Joey models for an embarrassing poster,
Rachel misses her flight home and the food burns when Chandler (who
doesn’t “do” Thanksgiving) distracts the friends with a break-away
balloon which leads to the friends eating sandwiches.
10 10 “The One with the Monkey” Peter Bonerz Adam Chase & Ira
Underleider December 15, 1994
Ross arrives at the New Year’s Eve party with his new companion, a
monkey named Marcel, who seems to take no interest in Ross at all. All
the friends make a pact not to bring dates to New Years, but all except
Ross do. Phoebe’s date is David, Her Scientist Guy (Hank Azaria), who
has to choose whether to stay with her or go to Minsk for career making
research. In the end none of the Friends have anyone to kiss at
midnight, and Joey and Chandler end up kissing.
11 11 “The One with Mrs. Bing” James Burrows Alexa Junge January 5,
1995
Chandler’s flamboyant romance-novelist mother (Morgan Fairchild) comes
to New York for a visit, and Joey catches Ross making the mistake of
kissing her in a restaurant, after getting himself drunk when he sees
Rachel bring Paolo. Monica and Phoebe see a guy who they like who’s
passing the street when Monica says: Woohoo!! the guy turns and is hit
by a car.
12 12 “The One with the Dozen Lasagnas” Paul Lazarus Jeff Astrof & Mike
Sikowitz and Adam Chase & Ira Ungerleider January 12, 1995
Everyone knows the sex of Ross’ baby except for Ross, who doesn’t want
to find out until it’s born. Rachel’s relationship with Paulo hits a
snag when he makes a pass at Phoebe. Monica makes a dozen lasagnas for
her aunt, only to discover that her aunt doesn’t eat meat.
13 13 “The One with the Boobies” Alan Myerson Alexa Junge January 19,
1995
After Chandler accidentally sees Rachel wandering around topless after
her shower, a chain reaction of nudity ensues when she tries to even the
score by seeing his penis. Joey finds himself playing parent when he has
to decide whether to hide his father’s affair from his mom. And no one
can stand Phoebe’s new boyfriend, an irritating psychologist named Roger
(Fisher Stevens).
14 14 “The One with the Candy Hearts” James Burrows Bill Lawrence
February 9, 1995
Ross’ first date in nine years is on Valentine’s Day with a beautiful
neighbor. Susan and Carol, also out on a romantic date; end up at the
same restaurant where Ross ends up kissing Carol. Joey sets Chandler up
on a blind date—with Janice. And Phoebe, Rachel and Monica decide to
spend the holiday burning mementos of their past boyfriends which causes
a fire.
15 15 “The One with the Stoned Guy” Alan Myerson Jeff Greenstein & Jeff
Strauss February 16, 1995
Monica cooks a gourmet meal for a restaurateur looking for a new chef.
Unfortunately, he’s stoned and would just as well eat taco shells as her
haute cuisine. After working as a data processing permanent temp for
five years, Chandler gets promoted to data processing supervisor, then
quits. And Ross has a date with a beautiful colleague named Celia and
gives new meaning to the term “spanking the monkey,” when he brings her
back to his place to meet Marcel. Celia is willing to have sex with him,
but only if he’ll talk dirty to her which he can’t do so he asks Joey
for help.
16 16 “The One with Two Parts, Part One” Michael Lembeck Marta Kauffman
& David Crane February 23, 1995
Joey falls for Phoebe’s twin sister, Ursula, making Phoebe feel
neglected. Meanwhile, Chandler finds himself between a rock and a hard
place, when he is told to fire an employee he is attracted to. Ross has
doubts about parenthood when he attends Lamaze classes with Carol and
Susan. Meanwhile, Monica tries to fix her TV after Marcel puts the TV on
“SAP” function, which she can’t turn off.
17 17 “The One with Two Parts, Part Two” Michael Lembeck David Crane &
Marta Kauffman February 23, 1995
Ursula dumps Joey, but doesn’t plan to tell him, so Phoebe disguises
herself as her twin sister to dump Joey and make sure he doesn’t get
hurt. After weeks of procrastinating, Rachel finally takes down the
Christmas lights on their balcony, only to fall off the balcony and
sprain her ankle. At the hospital, Rachel — who has no health insurance
— cajoles Monica into trading identities so she can use Monica’s
coverage. The girls end up trying to date two cute doctors (characters
from the show ER, one played by George Clooney the other Played by Noah
Wyle). Ross doubts that he will ever feel like a father. Chandler gets
stuck with the task of removing the “SAP” function from Monica’s TV.
18 18 “The One with All the Poker” James Burrows Jeff Astrof & Mike
Sikowitz March 2, 1995
Tired of being referred to by customers as “Excuse me,” Rachel
interviews for a job as an assistant buyer at Saks Fifth Avenue. She
also sees another side of the usually docile Ross when the girls face
the boys during a not-so-friendly game of poker.
19 19 “The One Where the Monkey Gets Away” Peter Bonerz Jeff Astrof &
Mike Sikowitz March 9, 1995
The gang searches frantically for Marcel, who slipped out of the
apartment while Rachel was baby-sitting him. After Marcel is found and
safe, Ross finally gets up the courage to try to woo Rachel. But just
when it looks like the two might actually spend a romantic evening alone
together, Barry, Rachel’s ex-fiance, barges into the apartment declaring
his love for her.
20 20 “The One with the Evil Orthodontist” Peter Bonerz Doty Abrams
April 6, 1995
Rachel and Barry start dating again, which is kind of awkward because
he’s now engaged to Mindy, who wants Rachel to be her maid of honor. But
when Rachel finds out that Mindy and Barry had an affair while she was
engaged to Barry, the two women decide to call Barry out on it.
Meanwhile, Chandler goes nuts when a woman he likes won’t return his
phone calls and the gang become annoyed at discovering that a person in
Ugly Naked Guy’s building is spying on them with a telescope. This is
where Chandler makes the classic joke about the leaf blower.
21 21 “The One with the Fake Monica” Gail Mancuso Adam Chase & Ira
Ungerleider April 27, 1995
When Monica’s credit card is stolen, she, along with Phoebe and Rachel,
decides to catch the thief, but Monica begins a friendship with her.
Joey enlists his friends to help him come up with a less ethnic-sounding
stage name. And when Ross finds out that Marcel has reached sexual
maturity and needs to be with other monkeys, he tries to get him
accepted into the “Harvard of zoos”, with an emotional goodbye.
22 22 “The One with the Ick Factor” Robby Benson Alexa Junge May 4,
1995
After losing his virginity to her, Monica’s boyfriend Ethan reveals that
he’s a high school senior, not a college senior. Rachel has erotic
dreams about Joey and Chandler, making Ross both disgusted and envious.
And when Phoebe temps as Chandler’s secretary, she finds out that no one
at work likes him anymore.
23 23 “The One with the Birth” James Burrows Story: David Crane & Marta
Kauffman
Teleplay: Jeff Greenstein & Jeff Strauss May 11, 1995
Carol goes into labor, prompting Monica to begin thinking about having a
baby of her own. When Ross and Susan can’t stop bickering over who gets
to help Carol more, Phoebe drags both of them into a closet to settle
their differences—but all three end up getting locked in just as Carol
is about to give birth to the baby. Rachel flirts with an OB/GYN who has
a love-hate relationship with women’s private parts due to seeing them
every day at work. The sight of lots of new-born babies makes Monica
worry that she may never have one.
24 24 “The One Where Rachel Finds Out” Kevin S. Bright Chris Brown May
18, 1995
Ross has to go to China for a fossil dig before Rachel’s birthday.
Chandler tells Ross to find another girl and get over Rachel. Ross gives
his present to Chandler and goes. Joey’s new girlfriend wants to go to
bed with him, but Joey’s participation in a fertility study is
preventing this. During Rachel’s birthday party, Chandler accidentally
lets it slip that Ross is in love with her, and a big decision presents
itself.

[edit] Season 3: 1996–1997
# Total Title Director Writer Original airdate
1 49 “The One with the Princess Leia Fantasy” Gail Mancuso Michael
Curtis & Gregory S. Malins September 19, 1996
Ross reveals his sexual fantasy to Rachel, which involves her being
dressed up as Princess Leia from Star Wars. Monica suffers from insomnia
after her breakup with Richard. And Chandler, willingly back together
with Janice, wants Joey to bond with her.
2 50 “The One Where No One’s Ready” Gail Mancuso Ira Ungerleider
September 26, 1996
Ross is in a hurry to get everyone dressed for an important banquet at
the museum but everyone keeps delaying. Monica freaks when she hears an
answer phone message from Richard, and Joey and Chandler fight over a
couch chair.
3 51 “The One with the Jam” Kevin S. Bright Wil Calhoun October 3,
1996
Phoebe dates a man who thinks he’s stalking her twin sister. Ross and
Rachel give Chandler “boyfriend” lessons. Monica uses her free time
after breaking up with Richard to make jam and considers artificial
insemination through a sperm bank. Guest Star: David Arquette
4 52 “The One with the Metaphorical Tunnel” Steve Zuckerman Alexa Junge
October 10, 1996
Phoebe pretends to be Joey’s agent and has some success in getting him
auditions. Ross is upset when Ben brings a Barbie doll on his weekend
visit. Chandler is advancing in his relationship with Janice and,
realizing that he has a fear of commitment, goes to the girls for
advice.
5 53 “The One with Frank Jr.” Steve Zuckerman Shana Goldberg-Meehan &
Scott Silveri October 17, 1996
Phoebe’s half-brother visits and she offers to give him a massage, but
they have trouble bonding. Joey attempts to build an entertainment
center. Ross is challenged to name the five celebrities he’d like to
sleep with most. Guest star Isabella Rosselini.
6 54 “The One with the Flashback” Peter Bonerz Marta Kauffman & David
Crane October 31, 1996
When Janice asks the gang if any of them have ever slept together, the
friends flash back to a time three years before, where some dark secrets
are revealed among other, that Ross kissed Phoebe.
7 55 “The One with the Race Car Bed” Gail Mancuso Seth Kurland November
7, 1996
When Monica buys a new bed from Janice’s soon-to-be-ex-husband, “The
Mattress King,” the wrong one is delivered. When she and Joey try to
take it back, Joey sees Janice and The Mattress King in his office,
kissing. Rachel’s tries to have her father and Ross’ bond by going to
dinner but when Rachel’s father tips only 4%, Ross adds 20 dollars to it
and Rachel’s father thinks that Ross thinks he is cheap. Rachel sets up
a brunch the day after but things go wrong when both men bond by
criticizing her. Joey gets a job teaching a soap opera acting class when
a student gets the same audition as Joey, forcing Joey to make a
desperate decision.
8 56 “The One with the Giant Poking Device” Gail Mancuso Adam Chase
November 14, 1996
When Chandler is about to buy Janice an expensive gift, Joey tells him
that he saw Janice kissing her ex-husband. Meanwhile, Monica
accidentally bumps Ben’s head into a post. Phoebe is convinced that she
is cursed because every time she goes to the dentist, someone around her
dies, and a toothache is forcing her to make another visit. After
returning, she frantically tries to figure out who must have died.
Everyone is accounted for until Joey notices that the “ugly naked guy”
who lives in the building across from theirs isn’t moving. In an attempt
to see if he’s dead or just sleeping, they tape together chopsticks to
make a long stick with which they poke him through his window from the
balcony.
9 57 “The One with the Football” Kevin S. Bright Ira Ungerlinger
November 21, 1996
Emotions become the feast of the day when the gang plays a game of touch
football on Thanksgiving as Joey and Chandler argue over who gets to
date a Dutch model and Ross and Monica argue over winning in a case of
sibling rivalry.
10 58 “The One Where Rachel Quits” Terry Hughes Greg Malins & Michael
Curtis December 12, 1996
Rachel decides to quit her job as a waiter when Gunther, her boss, tries
to politely correct all the mistakes she’s been making. Phoebe tries to
help Joey when he gets a job selling Christmas trees. Ross accidentally
breaks a girl’s leg, and attempts to make it up to her by helping her
sell cookies to win a trip.
11 59 “The One Where Chandler Can’t Remember Which Sister” Terry Hughes
Alexa Junge January 9, 1997
Ross is suspicious about Rachel’s possible job offer from a good-looking
stranger. A drunken Chandler fools around with one of Joey’s sisters,
but can’t remember which one.
12 60 “The One with All the Jealousy” Robby Benson Doty Abrams January
16, 1997
Ross becomes jealous when he thinks he catches Rachel’s new coworker
Mark whispering sweet nothings in her ear. After Joey lies on his
resume, he is forced to teach a very hard dance to an entire Broadway
cast. Monica dates a busboy from the diner.
13 61 “The One Where Monica and Richard are Just Friends” Robby Benson
Michael Borkow January 30, 1997
Monica’s will power is tested when she runs into Richard at the video
store. Joey agrees to read Little Women while Rachel agrees to read The
Shining. Phoebe’s athletic date has a problem with short shorts. He is
“coming out”.
14 62 “The One with Phoebe’s Ex-Partner” Robby Benson Wil Calhoun
February 6, 1997
Phoebe is reunited with her former singing partner (Elizabeth Daily),
who thinks “Smelly Cat” has hit potential. Chandler dates a woman with a
prosthetic leg (Sherilyn Fenn). And Rachel’s new job continues to put a
strain on her relationship with Ross.
15 63 “The One Where Ross and Rachel Take a Break” James Burrows Michael
Borkow February 13, 1997
Ross seeks solace at a party after a bitter fight with Rachel and ends
up in the arms of another woman. Phoebe dates a diplomat who needs an
interpreter to communicate with her. And Chandler and Joey ponder a
Ménage à trois with a woman who seems hot for both of them.
16 64 “The One on the Morning After” James Burrows David Crane & Marta
Kauffman February 20, 1997
Ross tries to prevent Rachel from learning that he slept with Chloe, the
copy store employee. When she finds out anyway and they go back to her
apartment and have a fight, the other four friends are trapped in
Monica’s bedroom, forced to listen in as Rachel decides to break up with
Ross.
17 65 “The One Without the Ski Trip” Sam Simon Shana Goldberg-Meehan &
Scott Silveri March 6, 1997
Ross and Rachel compete to spend time with their other friends. When a
lonely Ross is excluded from Rachel’s ski trip with her pals, he visits
Carol. Meanwhile, Chandler starts smoking again.
18 66 “The One with the Hypnosis Tape” Robby Benson Seth Kurland March
13, 1997
A desperate Monica agrees to a date with one of her restaurant
customers, who turns out to be very, very well-off (Pete, played by Jon
Favreau). Phoebe freaks when she finds out that her 18 year-old brother
is planning to wed a woman more than twice his age. (Debra Jo Rupp). And
Chandler uses a hypnosis tape to quit smoking, with surprising
results.
19 67 “The One with the Tiny T-Shirt” Terry Hughes Adam Chase March 27,
1997
Rachel goes on her first date after splitting from Ross, with Mark from
her office. Joey develops a crush on Kate, his costar in his new play.
And Monica continues to date Pete, even though she is still not
attracted to him.
20 68 “The One with the Dollhouse” Terry Hughes Wil Calhoun April 10,
1997
Rachel regrets making a date for Chandler and her boss, Joanna. Joey’s
interest in Kate intensifies after they sleep together. And Monica’s
aunt dies, leaving her an antique dollhouse, with which Monica doesn’t
want Phoebe to play with. Then Phoebe gets a new dollhouse that makes
Monica jealous.
21 69 “The One with the Chick and the Duck” Michael Lembeck Chris Brown
April 17, 1997
Monica considers a dream job in Pete’s new restaurant, but Phoebe fears
there is more to the deal. Joey and Chandler adopt a baby chick and a
duck. And Ross misses a panel for the Discovery Channel to help Rachel,
who may have a broken rib.
22 70 “The One with the Screamer” Peter Bonerz Shana Goldberg-Meehan &
Scott Silveri April 24, 1997
At the premiere of Joey’s big play; Ross alone concludes that Rachel’s
date (Ben Stiller) is insane. Joey falls in love with Kate, but she gets
a big job in Los Angeles and takes it. And Phoebe is on hold for days
with a company she needs to talk to before her phone warranty expires.
23 71 “The One with Ross’s Thing” Shelley Jenson Ted Cohen & Andrew
Reich May 1, 1997
Afflicted with a mysterious skin condition on his butt, Ross seeks
advice from Phoebe’s herbalist (Kevin McDonald). Phoebe can’t choose
between dating a fireman or a Kindergarten teacher and attempts to date
both without the other finding out. Monica can’t decide what to do about
Pete when she thinks he is going to propose.
24 72 “The One with the Ultimate Fighting Champion” Robby Benson Story:
Pang-Ni Landrum and Mark J. Kunerth
Teleplay: Shana Goldberg-Meehan & Scott Silveri May 8, 1997
To Monica’s horror, Pete plans to compete in the “Ultimate Fighting
Championship”, and when he can’t win but won’t give up, she must decide
her future with him. Chandler has a problem when his new boss keeps
slapping him on the butt. Phoebe sets Ross up on a date with a woman who
used to be bald. This episode features a cameo skit by Billy Crystal and
Robin Williams.
25 73 “The One at the Beach” Pamela Fryman Story: Pang-Ni Landrum and
Mark J. Kunerth
Teleplay: Adam Chase May 15, 1997
The gang goes to the beach. In search of a woman who was friends with
her mom, Phoebe meets the woman with links to her family’s past, who may
know more than she’s letting on. Ross discovers that Rachel still loves
him, and must choose between sex-crazy, but bald, Bonnie and Rachel, the
love of his life. After the gang plays strip poker, Joey winds up
sleeping naked on the beach. And Chandler wonders why Monica doesn’t
think he’s serious after he asks her if she would ever go out with
him.